Where are you?
In a non slutty way
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize