Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize