chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
