i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
