How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize