tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
