You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
