it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
