he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
