Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Are we still banned from the library?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
