$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
