I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
