I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
