from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
