shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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