She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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