it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
