Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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