Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
