I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
