I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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