so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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