The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
