We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
