My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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