she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i now understand why vodka
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