i may or may not be watching the land before time
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
