Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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