Me too!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't deserve a penis
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
