Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
