i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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