I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
