When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Enjoy the penises
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
