I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
