Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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