would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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