After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
