Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
