i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
