Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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