I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I cannot find my penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
