I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
