Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
