I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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