Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
