I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize