Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
