she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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