This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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