Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Porn is love you can see.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
