Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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