She announced her abortion via fbk
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
