just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
