The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
