Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
