Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
