can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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