it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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