O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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