i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
