i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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