I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
