C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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