My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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