And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
